The Pros and Cons of Living Your Life Online: An Interview with Late Night Drive Home
A discussion on the internet, AI, & self discovery following the band's debut concept album titled 'as i watch my life online'
Interviewing artists has been a huge passion for Jenna and me for over a decade. As we entered this new era of Name 3 Songs, we wanted to dedicate our artist interviews to musicians whose stories we feel we can help amplify through our borderline obsession with research, unpacking feelings, and understanding music in a way only lifetime fangirls truly can.
This week we’re starting our interview series with El Paso, Texas indie-rock band Late Night Drive Home who just put out their debut record, as i watch my life online, a concept record about, you guessed it, growing up in the first real era where using the internet wasn’t an option.
Our discussion takes us through the band’s journey growing up as the internet expanded in ways those who remember a childhood without it never really imagined. Now, the internet is a necessity, especially for artists who are trying to get their name out there. The guys of Late Night Drive Home have been making music together since high school, and quickly learned to utilize TikTok in the early COVID era of the app to help put their music in the ears of hundreds of thousands of new listeners.
We spoke with singer Andre Portillo, drummer Brian Dolan, bassist Freddy Baca, and founding member and guitarist Juan “Ockz” Vargas about their ever-changing relationships with the internet and how and why they wanted to use their record to depict what it was like truly growing up on the internet. From dating apps and social media, to AI music and online porn addictions, the band shared all their positive and negative feelings and connections to the online world they’ve become accustomed to being a part of.
An interview with Late Night Drive Home
The release of your song “Stress Relief” was a huge moment for y'all in 2021. At the time, you said you were confronted with the reality of being perceived online for the first time, and had your first real taste of what “fame” might feel like. Virality can come and go quickly, but you also have to be prepared to adapt to a new level of attention. Now that it’s been some time and you’ve been touring and playing festivals like Coachella, how do you feel about this idea of fame?
Ockz: It's existential. It's very unknown. We're all grateful for the accolades that we've gotten. [But] Playing Coachella as our first-ever festival messed with my perception of things, especially in the industry.
Andre: Whatever you're experiencing, you're just going to make art about it, right? But it really messes with your mind when you go online and these people are perceiving you, that you don't know. And people can say some very hurtful things online.
When we were starting to get up there, at first it was so cool. This is what I always dreamed about. But I wasn't aware of all the consequences that came after. Now I'm in the public eye and I have to watch what I say because I don't want to offend anybody. Initially, that’s how I felt about it, but I realized that we have a platform where we can spread awareness. I think that's the most powerful part of being up there – the influence that you have on everybody.
You've talked about how you're from a small town, and there's so little to prepare you for what the music industry is. Having the experience of a viral hit and playing Coachella so early in your career must be jarring. Because realistically, did you have anybody in your life to help you prepare for this?
Andre: I mean, the only person that I can think of was our manager, and he joined two years later. It was just insane for all of us. Being from this small town in El Paso, it was very strange, having this attention that early on, especially for a song that we made in our bedrooms. Obviously, at the moment, we were hyped.
Ockz: Yeah, it’s a blessing and a curse.
Andre: It leaves you in an existential state.
It sounds like for the first year, there was a pressure to keep up momentum on TikTok.
Ockz: [When “Stress Relief” was going viral], we felt like we had to keep the TikTok stuff going. We wanted to enjoy it. Then, after a while, I started to have a strong dislike for social media.
Andre: I took a break from social media. I think it's essential for your mental health. After that break, I came back, and my perception of social media has changed.
Freddy: You guys are hitting right on the heart. It is a curse and a blessing for people to perceive you at some point. You start to perceive yourself in a way that others perceive you. It's like looking at yourself as a third person. There’s so much weight – you also have a new responsibility.
Andre: I remember being told once that I should keep a clean shave and keep my hair long because that's what my fans want. I let it affect my perception of myself. It's like, okay, I guess I have to keep a clean face and stay cute for everybody.
That's so interesting because The Beatles had long hair, and at the time, having long hair was crazy. So it's interesting they’re still telling young bands that.
Andre: Yeah, dude. It's so wild. It's insane. Now I've gotten to a point where I'm comfortable just being myself. I went through this whole phase where I got a buzz cut because I was just like, “What is my identity?” When everything started taking off, I was about 18.
It sounds like you're still figuring out who you are as individuals, while also coping with being in a band in the public eye.
Freddy: Yeah, we were still finding ourselves while we’re going down this weird pathway.
Andre: And it's not a normal career. [In] El Paso, there's a lot of community there, but as far as making it in this kind of career, it's not as common.
How did your friends and family react? Are they supportive?
Brian: It's crazy because one day, to your family and friends, you're unemployed and you’re not doing anything. And then you play a festival and everyone's like, “Oh you made it. You have money. You are 100% fine. Why are you still living in El Paso?”
Also, for older generations, the perception of what being a musician means is so different. Even now, having a record deal is not the same thing as it once was. But speaking of festivals, this project started out of your bedroom. What was it like when you were able to get on the road and start playing shows?
Andre: For the longest time, Ockz was the one who was booking the shows for us. And something that Ockz told me one day was “yo, if we want to do something, we gotta get out of El Paso and start venturing out.”
So we actually put our personal money into the band, touring, and everything. We would take two cars to go to the event. We’d drive out to LA.
Our first show was in a warehouse. I remember when we finished the show, I walked outside and was like, holy shit. Then we went to do another tour through Texas. It was the same feeling. Later that year, we got a booking agent, and we were able to get on our first tour.
We've seen a lot of artists who came out of TikTok who don't know how to perform on a stage. But y’all cutting your teeth in DIY scenes is such a good place to be with the community. You're getting immediate feedback from audiences.
Andre: The time in which we started playing shows was so crazy because it was just after COVID, and everybody was itching to go out. So it kind of sparked something special in El Paso for a while.
Thinking about the record, you’ve said you wanted to give your perspective on the internet and create art alongside it. Obviousl,y the internet is a huge part of our lives, but at the same time, a lot of people are trying to take steps away from it. And on top of that, they’re also trying to push AI on us. To me, when I hear “creating music alongside the internet,” I'm viewing it as “AI is replacing us.” What is your relationship like with that?
Andre: It’s wild. We were having these kinds of conversations before we started writing the album. It's interesting that you bring that up too, because while we were out here [in New York City,] we started seeing ads for a vocal AI to help you write music, which is insane. I could be out of a job soon.
It's the uncanny valley thing where you can tell humans didn’t make it.
Andre: It's cool that it exists, but I don't see why I would necessarily need [to use AI in music.]
Ockz: The age of the internet we're at, and this age of America, we're in this form of late-stage capitalism in the sense that everything is pre-determined. It's made easier, not for you, but for a corporation to [benefit from AI.] The new Google AI that just came out – this AI model is able to make videos very realistic and also create dialogue. It could make this podcast episode.
Andre: How do you build that and be okay with that happening?
Ockz: I see artists that try to use AI to generate beats and vocals. I think it's very strange. It's hard to see exactly where this is all gonna lead. Obviously, if an AI makes a song completely, then that is just AI-made. What if you were to tell AI, “give me this type of guitar part and this type of bass,” and you put it together. It's kind of the same as sampling.
When I was creating some of my guitar parts and the instrumentals, I really liked the idea of encapsulating what I felt when I was on the internet as a kid. I don't think the internet itself is bad. I have good memories with it, but at the rate now, I feel like it's very hard to create alongside it.
Because now, instead of just being artists, we are content creators. But back then, like 2013, it was more fun. It was more genuine to post your music online and not be seen as selling yourself.
With your album, it feels like you're being intentional about how you're rolling out the visual side of it. Where's your head at in terms of representing yourselves as artists online?
Andre: The funny thing is, each of us is still trying to figure that out for ourselves if we haven't already. I think I've gone to a point where I'm not really posting for everybody else. It's just for me and the enjoyment that I get from making content or making art. It's a little interesting because I know we've had conversations where it's like, yo, we don't want to be perceived as people….
Like pandering…
Ockz: Yeah, it's like being genuine. When we came up on TikTok, labels didn't understand what TikTok was. It was very, very new. Now you have to be more than just an artist. You have to be a product, and what you do, your image, and your face online, and the music is the B point of it.
I made a lot of TikToks before I realized how overdone it was. Obviously it's still one of the largest platforms. But in the sense of artistry, it's gone down. It's not as genuine now. Even on my Instagram, the idea of me perceiving myself as an artist. It’s not caring about pandering or selling. It's just presenting myself the way I want.
Andre: It's also interesting to your point, though, because how can you, as an artist make this art and not want to spread the word about it?
Not to toot our own horn, but this album is very interesting – the topics that we're covering. We've had conversations like this: “Okay, this is like a self-criticism about the internet, but we still have to post online.” You know what I mean?
It's the necessary evil. We live in a capitalist society. Jenna and I are millennials. We grew up in a time when our childhoods weren’t ruled by the internet. We had computer time, but it was a computer in the basement. But also for older Gen Z kids, your childhood wasn’t completely on the internet either – you aren't iPad kids. There's still a part of you that knows life and connection outside of the internet. Was that a deciding factor to make a concept record about these ideas?
Andre: I think it's funny because back then, there was a mystery behind it.
Brian: The Wild West.
Andre: Yeah. But now you can kind of see through everything.
Ockz: The internet is not even the internet as it was before. It's just five websites that you go to. Before, you would find websites that someone made, [where] they're talking about the most random things. Now you have to go to Reddit to find something specific. You have to go to YouTube. And it’s all owned by the same fucking companies too.
The fact that you made a concept record as your first record is impressive. We’ve lost the beauty of the album and everything you can put into it. These short-form things have their space, but we also need to see that albums can last a long time. There was a TikTok complaining about Charli XCX making Brat have longevity. But that’s what art is and always has been. You go to the museum and see Starry Night. These days, consumption is too fast.
Andre: I've actually never thought about that before, but now that you're saying it, it makes complete sense.
Ockz: I really enjoyed the Brat wall, because it was a whole art piece. They encapsulated the exact image they wanted. You look at the green color now – that's insane marketing, it's just so smart. And it's true art. That's why I enjoyed the rollout so much. People who criticize the album, you guys don't understand how much impact it really had.
Andre: Yeah. I think people just want to hate because it's popular. When popular doesn't always necessarily mean bad.
How did you decide that you wanted this to be a concept album with a larger story throughout?
Ockz: A lot of internet binges. For me, I don't really write lyrics, but I write a lot of instruments. That's a way of voicing my mind. [When we started the album], I was listening to this podcast on YouTube called Doom Scroll. It was very interesting the way they were talking about the internet, as a form of entertainment, and how it affects human life. I was like, “Okay, well, this is a very interesting topic, and I want to keep exploring more.”
And I’m very hypocritical about being on the internet. But that’s what inspired the sound when it came to the album. And then working with [the band], these guys all feel in the same headspace. Especially with all the AI stuff coming out.
Andre: We went down the rabbit hole for sure. It was very existential. I remember for a week straight thinking, “Oh my God, is this how the world's gonna end?”
Also, for Gen Z and younger, this is one of the largest issues you're facing as a generation. Our generation and millennials who are older than us, everyone came up in different economic periods. The internet has never been such a presence within a generation that's coming of age.
Ockz: You need a phone just to be living, basically. Not that you need one, but the dependency we have on the internet is insane.
Andre: I'd like to bring up something too about the topic of trying to find love on the internet as well, because I have some very close friends, and I see the way that they interact on the internet – trying to find love and it really affects everything that they think about themselves too. It's like, I have to make sure all my Tinder pictures are perfect and I have to make it kind of attractive, but not too attractive.
Isn’t there a lyric on “Terabyte” that says, “I don't know her but I love her?”
Andre: Yeah. Well, that one is because “Terabyte” is a song about porn addiction. That ties into the whole aspect of trying to find love as well. From a very young age, I was on the internet unrestricted and on a bunch of websites, going down the rabbit hole.
It also affected the way that I perceived women for a while, too. I don't think that many people see it as a big issue. And it's like, no, you guys are literally destroying your brains.
Ockz: Porn addiction and hookup culture go hand-in-hand. A lot of people are very, very dependent right now because of the internet. At the end of the day, sex is amazing. But also…
It affects your perception of what attraction and physical love are.
Andre: Yeah. And then on the same token, when you're really deep in porn addiction. For me, it was like an actual thing that happened to the point where I was in a relationship, and I was addicted to porn and was like really fucked up. At the same time, your brain is always looking for the next best thing.
You started this band by writing music in your bedroom, and you recorded this album in a professional studio with a producer. What has it been like getting more comfortable having an outside perspective?
Andre: The way our demos take shape is so different from the way they come out. That's the biggest thing for me to get over.
Ockz: We work with our producer Sonny DiPerri. We met him like three years ago, and he was able to teach us the way of working in a studio. You're able to play everything live, and there are all these different machines. I'm just used to opening my laptop and producing everything right there.
Once you listen to the final song once it's mixed and mastered… now I see why people go to studios. There’s a huge change in the sound. I don't think it's necessary, but it does elevate the sound very strongly.
Being an independent band, you know your sound and you know how you want to represent yourselves. Stepping into the music industry can be a very different experience where people try to put artists in a box to be something they're not. Have you had to deal with any outside pressures?
Andre: We did have this one thing where we were asked to make an all-Spanish version of “Stress Relief.”
You wrote the song in English for a reason, because it can tell the story that you want to tell. And if you wanted to write a song in Spanish, you might have.
Ockz: I find it crazy, like when someone wants us to sell our culture or heritage. It's like, we are Mexican. I'm proud of it 100%. And I'm glad that we can represent in a very white-dominated space as a Hispanic rock band. But I also find it crazy when they tell us we should make a Spanish song. Like why?
To wrap this all up, we like to ask everyone the same question. The ethos of Name 3 Songs is to love what you want unapologetically and celebrate fangirls. So, what are you a fangirl of?
Ockz: I'm a fangirl of The 1975. When they released their first album, I put them off because they're just a pop band. But once I listened to the most recent record, I heard “Part of the Band” and I was like, “holy shit.” I started realizing how much deeper the music was.
Andre: I like to fangirl over Mac Miller a lot. Also, whenever a Justin Bieber song comes on the radio, I'm all about it. “Beauty and the Beat” with Nicki Minaj? Come on. Especially if you're in a club and it's blasting. There's no way you're not gonna dance to it.
Brian: For me, it's science. Nuclear physics.
Andre: Tell them what you were telling me about the electrons.
Brian: It's a ladder step-down theory. It's basically like what if there's another state of energy that matter could be existing in. Imagine another shell for the electrons to drop back into. And then that would set off a chain reaction that could end life. The speed of light expanding in a vacuum that just eats everything. And we'd all just be dead.
Andre: We were wondering what would happen to us. He said we'd probably turn into gloop.
Freddy: I’m in my annual chess phase.
Andre: Yeah. We've all been diving into chess a little bit.